I Have GOT to Stop Reading These

Dear incandescently famous and attractive actor or pop star,

I don’t care what you like to eat.

I don’t care that you were plain in highschool, and also the biggest dork.

I don’t want to hear how exciting it is to be a parent.

I don’t care what you think about politics.

I don’t care what your relationship is ‘really’ like.

I don’t care what you learned from your family growing up.

DO NOT CARE!

Unless you have became famous for your searing wit and lively intellectualism, do us all a favor and stop doing so many dull, horrible magazine interviews.

(Dear insipid tabloid magazines, please do your part and stop encouraging celebrities to think that they are interesting).

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8 Responses to “I Have GOT to Stop Reading These”

  1. britt Says:

    Can this rule cross the gender barrier and be applied to professional athletes as well?

  2. mollyschoemann Says:

    In the car on the way to work this morning, I mentally added that one too!

  3. mollyschoemann Says:

    PS, no gender barrier exists. Brad, this means you too.

  4. Marck Says:

    Britt, are you saying that women cannot be professional athletes? Tisk, tisk.

  5. britt Says:

    hoist with my own inadvertantly sexist petard.

    can we add members of the house of representatives?

  6. mollyschoemann Says:

    I read that as ‘sexy petard’ and laughed at first.

  7. Rowland Jones Says:

    Er.. is it compulsory where you live to read these interviews? if not, why do you do it?

  8. iheardtell Says:

    But they’re in the break room at work!

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