I rediscovered this from my days as a Customer Service Rep for an internet company.

“One quote
Two quotes
Three quotes
Four quotes

I do not like making more quotes.

Can you fax it to my mom?
Do you people ship to Guam?
Would you, could you, ship it faster?
Would you, could you, add the casters?

I do not like to ship three day.

I cannot do it anyway.

One box
Two box
Sliced box
Diced box

You refused this damaged-twice box?

Did your brand new table splinter?
Did you order this last winter?
Did you tell us ‘pack it well’?
It’s got a snowball’s chance in Hell.”

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