I baked a chocolate cake last night, and it’s Jordan’s Furniture’s fault. I had neither the time nor the energy to bake that chocolate cake. I needed to pack for a weekend wedding trip, and before I packed, I needed to figure out what dress I was going to wear to the wedding, and what outfit I was going to wear to the Friday night dance party before the wedding, and before I picked out my outfits and packed them, I needed to shower.
But before I knew what was happening, right in the middle of Two and a Half Men (come on, it’s a pretty funny show, don’t judge me), a Jordan’s Furniture commercial came on, and that white-bearded and bespeckled Jordan’s Furniture guy was standing in front of a bunch of beds, holding a giant piece of chocolate cake. I didn’t hear a word he said. “I want chocolate cake!” I blurted. Brian looked at me. “So do I,” he said, in wonder. Brian doesn’t really care for dessert. Chocolate usually leaves him cold. But damned if we didn’t both burn for chocolate cake with a passion that could not be ignored.
I cracked open ‘Joy of Cooking’, flipped to page 645 (Chocolate Cake Cockaigne– Joy of Cooking delightfully adds the word ‘Cockaigne’ to the title of every recipe they think is especially delicious) and got to work. I melted down 3 oz of bittersweet chocolate, creamed butter and sugar, separated eggs. I picked out an icing and measured out butter and cream for it. The house filled with the scent of Jordan’s Furniture-inspired cakelust.
Two hours later, while watching the dubious “My Super Ex-Girlfriend” (did they write that movie in one sitting and shoot it without a single re-read? What a waste of Uma Thurman) we sat down to piping-hot slices of Chocolate Cake Cockaigne. I hadn’t packed, showered, decided on outfits. But I guess sometimes you have to prioritize. Sometimes the siren-call of chocolate cake must be heeded.
I Heard Tell 
Dave
2 and a half men is actually legitimately very good.
i feel incredibly weird writing that.
-dave w.
8yearoldsdude
between “2.5 men” and “how i met your mother.” monday is a strong night for network TV.
you might look into cake mix, it works wonders in a pinch, I find.
Lou
1) I watch 2 and a half men and think “this isn’t that bad” then I feel embarrassed.
2) How I Met Your Mother is a fantastic show.
3) I am exhausted just reading that you baked a cake FROM SCRATCH for no apparent reason whatsoever.
That’s just crazy talk.
4) Someone once told me I look like Uma Thurman. That person is my favorite person ever and I don’t ever remember who it was… and he and/or she was obviously wrong. But still. Favorite stranger ever.
Dave Agnos
I challenge you to open Joy of Cooking at random and prepare the first full recipe you see starting from the top corner of the left page.
To ensure maximum randomness, hold the book closed, standing up with the spine on the table, and with the other hand and your eyes closed, drop your index finger pointed down from above the book somewhere and dig into the pages.
Now… what did you find, and are you up for preparing it? Ultimately, what store does the food you find remind you of?