For this week’s Perpetual Post, Howard and I took on the Obamas new dog. Someone had to! Find his side up here on Tuesday:
Of the many grievous errors committed by the Obama family during its first several months in the White House, high on the list is their recent adoption of a purebred Portuguese Water Dog, an elitist breed if ever there was one; the sort of dog that’s born with a silver shoe in its mouth. They’ve named the little patrician “Bo”, which is likely short for ‘Boristocrat’, or ‘Bommunity Organizer’. Or perhaps, ‘ABotion.’
In any event, the Obamas claim that this newest addition was chosen because their youngest daughter, “Malia”, is “allergic to most breeds of dog”; a flimsy excuse for a politically-charged adoption which was undertaken mainly for the purposes of legally joining the Obama and Kennedy families at long last. The wishes of the dog itself, who suffered a callous name-change at the hands of his new owners, were not taken into account, nor were the feelings of the millions of dogs who remain in shelters, left homeless and un-adopted by the First Family.
Indeed, if Malia truly does suffer from allergies, it is President Obama’s duty to show that affliction no mercy. The United States has never negotiated with allergens, nor should it now. President Obama’s shameless devotion to the health and wellness requirements of his young children makes America look soft on terror.
Not only are average Americans up-in-arms at this favortism; Canine-Americans are also exceedingly insulted by the Obama’s devastating slight to their homeless and shelter-dwelling brethren. In his blundering adoption of a pedigreed puppy, Obama has in effect just told Canine-Americans to roll over and play dead. Dogs of mixed descent are left to feel unrepresented, wondering sadly how they are supposed to take pride in their species, and whether they are in fact good boys.