Humor and Satire– Shmatire!

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The following statement was released from the owner and operator of Ski Land, which rented a Jet Ski to Chris Brown on Miami Beach last week.  Find it on the Perpetual Post on Tuesday.


“Ski Land and its affiliates are extremely saddened and distressed by the way in which the Jet Ski we provided to Chris Brown made him appear to be enjoying himself in Miami last week.  As the owner and operator of Ski Land, Miami’s premier Jet Ski rental facility, I would like to apologize for this oversight.  It was never our intention to harm the reputation of a valued customer, and we are deeply sorry to have caused Chris Brown to suffer due to the reactions of those who saw him having fun while riding our Jet Ski.



Please remember that although the celebrated musical star may have seemed to be smiling while riding his Jet Ski, Ski Land and its affiliates did not intend for the exhilarating sensation of skiing on top of water to interfere in any public way with Chris Brown’s emotional state, which, surely, was one of great remorse and contrition, pending the outcome of his current situation.



In Chris Brown’s defense, in my ten years of owning and operating Ski Land, I have yet to see a customer who did not smile at least once while riding one of our fine Jet Skis.  Chris Brown faced nearly insurmountable odds against not enjoying himself that sunny afternoon in Miami, particularly since his plans for the rest of the evening included drinking, partying, and other penitent activities which he was clearly looking forward to not enjoying due to his profound remorse.



It is our sincere hope that with the help of his pastor, who, according to the Brown’s legal team, was Jet Skiing alongside him, Chris Brown will be able to face the difficult times ahead, while perceptibly displaying what we all know are his true feelings of heartfelt sadness and regret.”

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