Humor and Satire– Shmatire!

Tag Archives: BS

Akie, Jillian and I discussed Astrology in this week’s Perpetual Post.  It’s astrologicalicious!

MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I want to cast astrology aside scornfully, but it seems like every time the subject comes up, someone else I love and respect confesses that they are interested in it, and I feel a renewed justification in being curious.

It’s not that I spend that much time thinking about astrology; I don’t even know off the top of my head what the dates are for every sign.  (In fact I am always simultaneously impressed and alarmed at those people who CAN say things like, “Your birthday is August 27th?  So you’re a Virgo then, hmm…”)  Nor do I really pay attention to people’s birthdays being on the cusp or whether their moons are in the house of something or other.

Really, the only time I pay much attention to astrology is to match up my sign with the sign of the boy I’m interested in and/or dating.  Now that I have settled down and become engaged to a Scorpio I don’t do much astrologizing, having spent a slow afternoon at work a few years ago reading every account I could find about what Scorpios are like and whether they are a good match with a Taurus.  Most sources claim that they are, because they’re kind of opposites but both really intense or something like that.  As About.com states, “Scorpio has intuitive powers and Taurus is master of the 3-D physical world — as a team they can experiment in bringing visions into form.”  Exactly!  That pretty much describes an average Sunday morning in our house.

There are those who claim that the problem with astrology is that you can read any horoscope, whether or not it’s your own, and find ways to relate to it, and pick things out of it that you think can be applied to your own life.  This is probably true for me.  I can relate to the 10pm weatherman;  I can find something that applies to my own life in an online recipe for chutney.  I guess you could say I have boundary issues.  So in that way I am a perfect candidate to find astrology both extremely compelling and extremely full of lies.

Still, I love people who are openly excited about astrology and enjoy discussing it, even if they do so with a dose of deprecation.  Talking to someone like that about astrology is like finding a kindred spirit who isn’t afraid to get raunchy while telling you why she broke up with her ex.  It lets you settle into a certain comfort zone and it increases your expectations for the depth of the conversation.  You know you are in for a good time when you find someone who you love and respect but who is also not afraid to look you in the eye and say something like “The way you just stirred your coffee is SO like a Taurus!  Your moon must be in the house of Saturn this week.”

One of my best friends will confess an intense interest in astrology when pressed, but she knows how admitting that sounds to some, and she’s not afraid to use that fact to her advantage.  One night she got out of a bad date early by discussing her love of astrology.  “I’m a Pisces,” she told the guy.  “We tend to be needy and emotional—and we’re also very demanding.”  Needless to say, she never heard from him again.  Their love must not have been in the stars!  Score one for astrology.