Humor and Satire– Shmatire!

Tag Archives: Spring Break

Tried to do some writing this evening, but my bed and my laptop are so warm and fuzzy and sleepy making…so here’s another one from the archives.  Hey, if you didn’t know me in college, it’s new to you!  If you did, I’m sorry.  More new material soon!

Spring break has been  punching me in the face for long enough. I’m quite ready for it to be over. Those of us who chose to stick it out and remain on campus for the week were rewarded with a series of days that never quite saw direct sunlight or made it out of the 40-degree range. There was also an intermittent mix of fog, drizzle and freezing rain, just to keep us on our toes. And by on our toes, I mean suicidal.

The highlight of my week may have been watching Labyrinth. Remember that movie? If you’re like me, you saw it when you were five or six and found it fascinating even as it systematically scared the living daylights out of you. Children tend to be simultaneously horrified and fascinated by things a lot. Just show a live lobster to a four-year-old and you’ll see what I mean. There is a home movie of me at age three fleeing in terror from one of the oversized characters at Disneyland. (I think it was the Big Bad Wolf. At least I had good
instincts.) Fleeing in terror, and then running up to him. Fleeing, running up. It’s fun to watch on high speed.
It’s also fun to consider how little has changed since then in my way of relating to others.

My other highlight would probably be eating an entire box of macaroni and cheese in my room by myself. Wait, that wasn’t a highlight at all. I couldn’t move afterwards and had to lie down. It was awful. All I could do was lay there and think about what I had done. I once heard somewhere (or made up in my head) that  sharks will just eat and eat until they explode because they’re missing some sort of gene that tells them to stop when they are full. If that’s true, then I am definitely missing that gene. I probably ate it.
So anyway, Labyrinth. I got a kick out of actually knowing who David Bowie was this time around. Not to mention the amazing 80s hair, shiny knee-length boots and leggings he wears in his role as the Goblin King. Someone once told me that Bowie apparently doesn’t remember being in Labyrinth. This is remarkable, considering the fact that he wrote songs for it, performed several musical numbers, and starred in the film.

While watching the movie we decided that at the time, he probably thought it was real. “I’m the Goblin King,” thought Bowie, circa 1986. “I stole Jennifer Connelly’s baby brother. I am dancing with my goblin subjects and tossing around a magical glass ball.” Stranger things probably happened to him in that decade. It made me wish that I had made movies in the 80s and not remembered making them. Although I suppose I did, if you count my opus, “Molly Runs from Giant Disney Character”. But my failure in recollecting that performance is probably less drug related.

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