When you are sitting there at your desk and you think about how when you get home, you’re going to take the dog for a nice long walk, because it’s been so long since you’ve been able to do that, and it occurs to you that you should text him and let him know that.

Yeah, no.  The dog doesn’t have a cell phone.  If he did, he would likely have trouble texting with his little paw pads.  Also, he can’t read.  He’s a dog.

I need a glass of wine, stat.

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