Dear incandescently famous and attractive actor or pop star,

I don’t care what you like to eat.

I don’t care that you were plain in highschool, and also the biggest dork.

I don’t want to hear how exciting it is to be a parent.

I don’t care what you think about politics.

I don’t care what your relationship is ‘really’ like.

I don’t care what you learned from your family growing up.

DO NOT CARE!

Unless you have became famous for your searing wit and lively intellectualism, do us all a favor and stop doing so many dull, horrible magazine interviews.

(Dear insipid tabloid magazines, please do your part and stop encouraging celebrities to think that they are interesting).

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