I was watching something on Hulu the other day when –Bam!- there was Amy Sedaris, in a commercial for Downy detergent, and my heart shrunk three sizes. I’m a big fan of Amy Sedaris—I think she’s a great entertainer and she appears to have an extremely interesting and quirky way of looking at life. I love her books (I Like You, about cooking and entertaining, and Simple Times, the crafting book) I also love her brother David and all of his books. Before this commercial, the Sedarises (Sedarii?) could do no wrong in my eyes. But suddenly and irrevocably, that changed in the 30 seconds it took Amy to describe how great some new Downy detergent product was.
Granted, I understand that money is money. It feels a little unfair for me to judge Amy Sedaris for being in commercials when I don’t really know anything about why she decided to do them. Possibly her second book isn’t doing so well. Maybe other offers have dried up. Perhaps she’s just doing what she’s gotta do to keep her rabbits in alfalfa?
But googling this commercial led me to a couple of shocking discoveries. Not only had Amy Sedaris done this commercial (which everyone else writing about it called ‘kooky’ and ‘hilarious’ rather than ‘demoralizing’ and ‘a depressing reminder that everyone has a price’) but she had also done commercials for Target and another company.
Not only that, so had comedian Maria Bamford! This felt like the last straw. I’m not saying that if Tide offered me a million bucks, I wouldn’t roll over and sell out with the best of them. Hell yeah, I use Tide. I love Tide! Now pay me! But the thing is, me personally—I happen to be hard up for cash. Amy Sedaris and Maria Bamford are both relatively successful comedians. Maybe they’re not millionaires, but it’s also unlikely that these commercials are the big breaks they’ve been dreaming of. After all, if an enormous, nationally recognized brand wants you for their commercial, aren’t you automatically going to be a big enough star that you probably aren’t desperate for the money?
So, is it really selling out to do commercials like these? All things considered, is it really as disreputable as I’m painting it out to be? I suppose ultimately that’s up to the viewers. The people watching these commercials will likely end up drawing their own conclusions. In my opinion, it’s a hugely disappointing travesty. But many others may say, ‘Hell yes! Go for it! Go where the money is, and godspeed you adorable quirky women! Now, off to the store to buy whatever you’re shilling.’
This also bothers me—the fact that it is apparently no longer considered embarrassing to do commercials like these. Celebrities appear to have a free pass today. They can shill for whatever brands and corporations they please, as long as the commercials they do appear in cast them in a humorous, self-effacing light. It used to be that actors and actresses were somewhat ashamed to be in commercials for products, so they’d go overseas where there would be less press for appearing in ads. But now, nobody cares. Michael Ian Black is hawking eBay. Mike Rowe plugs Toyota. There’s no longer any shame in advertising such things. I’m just apparently feeling shame for them, and that’s just sad.
What am I going to do? Refuse to buy Downy Unstopables (sic) because they put Amy Sedaris in a commercial? I LIKE that they wanted to use her for advertising because they realized how awesome she was. I like that the money is going to her rather than some talking head. And yet—I hate it! I hate that Sedaris named her price and Downy paid it. It’s a strange paradox.
It comes down to this: Amy Sedaris has spent years crafting and promoting her public image through skits, standup comedy, books, and television shows. Her unique persona is arguably the most important thing she has. It’s what makes her stand out from the masses of people in the world and in advertising who are not Amy Sedaris. And Downy saw this, and cleverly co-opted it. During a 30-second commercial, Amy Sedaris associated this public image she has built with a huge corporate detergent brand. No matter what, I along with many other fans, will likely always make this connection from now on—this may help Downy, but it doesn’t help Amy. I guess what I’m saying is, whatever they paid her, it was not enough.
I’m up on The Barnes & Noble Review’s Grin & Tonic Section this afternoon. You can find that piece here!
I’ve got a piece up on McSweeney’s Internet Tendency again this morning! Yahoo!
It’s in the category of an Open Letter to People or Entities Who are Unlikely to Respond.
Congratulations on receiving a very special floral arrangement from Flower Palace! Someone has given you this beautiful gift orchid because you are very special to them. Please follow the instructions below carefully to ensure that your new orchid blooms beautifully and enhances your life and home for years to come.
1) WATER: Orchids love humidity, so mist your orchid daily! Make sure the water is room-temperature and the spray is gentle. Always make eye contact with your orchid while misting it, so that it knows that this is a profound, meaningful act for you both—and that you’re not going to just turn around and mist another orchid right in its face the next day as though it meant nothing to you.
2) LIGHT: Orchids prefer indirect sunlight. Bright overhead lights tend to make them look older and kind of washed-out.
3) PLACEMENT: Once you find the perfect spot for your orchid, plan to keep it there permanently. Orchids do not like to be moved around. Moving to a different house is thus no longer an option. If this presents a problem, then maybe you should have thought about that before someone gifted you with a beautiful orchid. Also, what is with your need to flash your orchid all over town like it is some cheap, whorish carnation in the buttonhole of your rented suit? Just wondering.
4) ENVIRONMENT: Orchids thrive on routine. Once your orchid is familiar with its surroundings, the introduction of new family members into your household is not recommended. Even dinner guests are not a great idea. In the event that you are considering a permanent addition to your family, for the sake of your orchid, we ask that you reconsider. Do you really need that new dog, or baby? Is your orchid not enough? Your new orchid could be everything to you, if you would only let it.
5) COMMON COURTESY: If you’re going to be working late, would it kill you to call your orchid and let it know? Maybe it had made plans for just the two of you. You always do this.
6) SUPPORT STICK: Your orchid came with a special ‘support stick’ to help keep it growing straight and tall. Do not try to remove the support stick from your orchid. Ever. Just trust us here. Leave the support stick alone and no one will get hurt. In the event that you do not follow this advice, Flower Palace cannot be held responsible for physical, emotional or property damage.
7) APPRECIATION: Orchids love compliments. Be sure to constantly tell your orchid that it is the most beautiful orchid you have ever seen. Orchids never get tired of hearing this! Flower Palace cannot be held responsible for physical, emotional or property damage in the event that your orchid suspects you are lying.
8) RETURN POLICY: Flower Palace will not accept returns of gifted orchids under any circumstances. Your beautiful orchid is your problem now. For your safety we recommend that you do not ever let your orchid know you were even thinking of returning it.
Enjoy your beautiful orchid!
I Heard Tell 