Your feed might look more like this:
[Bob]: I hope my ex-girlfriend notices that I am attending the Film Festivel “Nietzsche’s Influence: A Silent Retrospective”. When she dumped me last year she said I wasn’t ‘interested in ideas’. This will show her!
I will not actually attend this event.
[Mary]: I’ve come across an obscure three-second animated clip of a cat that appears to be using a tiny hula hoop, after aimlessly surfing the internet for five hours as I do most evenings. I have posted this clip on my Facebook wall as proof of my quirky, idiosyncratic existence. Please acknowledge it.
[Alan]: I would like it to be known that I am out drinking at a bar right now, so I have posted a dull comment about the beer I just ordered, while out at this bar, drinking. With my many friends.
[Louise]: Here is an amusing anecdote of something I just overheard at work. These days when something interesting happens to me, my first thought is usually, “I should put that on Facebook”.
[Charlotte]: You will notice that I have taken over 400 pictures of just myself, in various outfits and poses, and posted them on my Facebook profile, because I am attractive and my life is interesting to others.
[Barbara]: Is eating dinner alone at home and feeling lonely. Rather than reaching out to anyone, I have updated my Facebook status with a brief description of how much I am enjoying my dinner. Now I am waiting anxiously for comments and ‘likes’ on this post, which will temporararily ease and then ultimately worsen my feelings of isolation.
[Mike]: Here is a link to a well-written, thought-provoking opinion piece that I did not finish reading, with a brief comment urging everyone else to read the piece. In this way I have co-opted the author’s opinion as my own and avoided having to define how I actually feel on the subject, which is good because I really don’t know that much about it but would like to appear knowledgeable.
[Trey]: I have changed my profile picture. The caption reads, “This is How I Would Like to be Seen by You”. Every picture on my profile is carefully selected to reflect the image of me that I would like you to have. My life is a product that I advertise on Facebook.
[Lana]: I have shared another ironic photo or video on my Facebook wall for my friends to comment on the utter ridiculousness of! Isn’t it stupid, yet kind of amazing? What were they thinking?!
I’m not interested in sharing things I find genuinely interesting or moving, because this would reveal too much information about who I really am, which might make me vulnerable to direct criticism and would also open up the possibility that people might disagree with me, challenge me or engage with me in a meaningful way.
[William]: Please make me feel loved.
This week Dave Tomar, Matthew David Brozik and myself took on Netflix’s recent price hike in the Perpetual Post. My side is below. You can read the full piece here. Trust me, the fur flies!
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Hey Netflix, don’t stream on my shoes and tell me it’s raining. Your new, higher, “a la carte” pricing for previously combined, low-cost services is just bad business.
You could have at least given your customers the courtesy of pretending as though you aren’t trying to wring every last cent out of them, the way cable and internet providers have been doing forever: Simply let your monthly pricing creep up gradually, month by month, year by year, so that I don’t even realize how much I’m actually spending until I’m taking out a second mortgage to pay for cable. It’s like giving me a soothing backrub as you steal my wallet. At least it shows you care enough to hide what you’re doing to me from me, instead of just hiking your prices right in my face and expecting me to smile wanly and fork over the extra cash.
And I don’t buy the argument that this new pricing is fair because the original price for these services was so cheap that we should just appreciate how great that was. You’re damn right, the original price was cheap, and I liked it that way! I like things that are cheap! And I don’t need a price hike to make me realize how cheap something formerly was. You know what really makes me appreciate the cheapness of something? Keeping it cheap! As an analogy, right at this moment, I also appreciate the fact that my big toe is not throbbing in terrible pain. Should I hit it with a hammer, then, so that I can remember even more clearly how great it felt before I did that?
Nor do I understand the logic that since the price hike is only $6-7 bucks a month for the average household, it’s not such a big deal. Sure, that’s not a large amount. But when I consider the fact my monthly bill of $9.99 is going to increase by about 60%, to $15.98, and for the exact same services I’ve been getting for $9.99, I feel very indignant. No, the extra $6 is not all that stands between me and starvation. I can afford it. But is that a valid defense? That most of your customers can afford the price hike? Most of my friends can afford to give me $5 a month for the exact same level of friendship I have been providing them for years for free. But is fair for me to ask for it?
And if this price hike is because the cost of streaming is higher than Netflix originally forecast, well maybe they should have done their homework on that when they were originally designing their pricing model. That’s part of their job; to price services in a way that is both profitable for the company, and reasonable for the customer. Now I’m supposed to pay an extra $70+ bucks a year because someone in accounting forgot to carry the one?
All over the internet, Netflix customers are muttering angrily that thanks to this price hike, they have canceled their accounts, or are strongly considering canceling them. And perhaps Netflix was even counting on this. Perhaps they did the cold hard math and realized that if 40% of their customers desert them over this astronomical price hike, they’ll still be making more money than they ever were before, thanks to the revenue brought in by said price hike. But the problem is, it’s not just about the money, and you would think Netflix would know this. A big part of staying in business relies on customer loyalty. For whatever reason, Netflix customers have long tended to be extremely loyal. Perhaps it’s Netflix’s legendary customer service or their keen ability to understand the utter depths of our laziness. Everything about using Netflix IS ridiculously laid-back and easy. And those little red envelopes are so cheerful. But there is only so far these things can go, in the face of such cruel pricing practices. And customer loyalty, so gradually attained, is extremely hard to win back after a gaffe like this.
Those customers who don’t desert Netflix in droves; the ones who hang on and swallow their pride and pay the increased pricing—they won’t have the same love in their hearts for Netflix anymore. They’ll stay, but they’ll be watching the horizon for the dawn of the Next Big Lazy Movie-Watcher Service Provider. And they probably won’t have to wait long. It feels like every time you turn around, there’s a new, even easier way to rent or stream TV shows and movies.
I’m convinced that this is going to be your ‘Let them eat cake’ moment, Netflix. You should have continued to offer cheaper cake.
I was inspired by Adrianne’s delightful post to note on my blog that we got a second dog back in March!
It all began when I came down with Puppy Fever last spring. I love our dog Charlie, but for some reason I got it into my head that I wanted to go through the experience of adopting a new pet. Apparently I wanted to hear the pitter-patter of a new animal pooping on the carpet. And I thought Charlie seemed lonely. He wanted a friend!
So I started looking around on the website of the Wake County SPCA, and it was there that I saw ‘Pajamas’, a forlorn, Dalmatian-looking white dog with grey spots. The description read something like this:
HI! MY NAME IS PAJAMAS! I’M A THREE YEAR OLD DALMATIAN/AMERICAN BULLDOG MIX. I’VE HAD A PRETTY HARD LIFE, AND I’M LOOKING FOR A FAMILY THAT CAN GIVE ME LOTS OF TENDER LOVING CARE. I THINK A HOUSEHOLD THAT ALREADY HAS A DOG WILL BE A GOOD MATCH FOR ME AND REALLY HELP ME COME OUT OF MY SHELL.
That’s too bad, I thought. Pajamas looks cute, but we’re looking for a younger, smaller dog. Still, when we dropped by the SPCA one Saturday a week or so later, “just to look”, (which I’m pretty sure is how most people end up adopting new pets) I saw Pajamas in one of the holding pens, sleeping curled up tightly around another dog. The sight warmed my heart.
“Want to look at Pajamas?” I said to Brian. “I saw her on the website.”
When a shy, sad Pajamas was brought into the room to meet us, though, I was unimpressed. She was not a puppy. She was not a smaller dog, either, like I wanted.
Instead she was bony, and she had recently had puppies, so she had those big knobbly dog nipples drooping off her ribcage. (Apparently the Wake County SPCA went down and rescued her from a SC shelter after pictures of her looking extremely emaciated were spotted online, for which we are eternally grateful. Her story up to that point remains a mystery.)
Sad to say, my initial response upon meeting Pajamas was, “Hmm, I’m not sure about this…”
And then I looked over at Brian. He had an enormous, beatific smile on his face and had opened his arms wide to enfold Pajamas.
“Hello, sweetheart,” he said tenderly.
“Oh, man,” I realized. “We’re going home with Pajamas.”
Charlie Was Confused
We named her Sophie.
Other nicknames we have since invented for her include Loaf, The Monster, and White Devil.
Here are things that Sophie likes: jumping up on the bed and drooping her jowls over my face first thing in the morning, snorting and huffing around and making hilarious noises, standing utterly still and fixing me with a thousand-yard stare when I’m trying to call her, and being flatulent when we have company.
She has a goofy sense of humor and is a big clown, leaping around with abandon and throwing herself into hilarious antics whenever possible. She’s the perfect compliment to Charlie’s slightly quieter, more subtle nature, and she follows him everywhere like a delighted little sister, which is pretty much what she is.
She’s also incredibly soft, like a teddy bear, and beautiful, with big brown eyes and a graceful gait. She has perfect white toenails and little pink footpads and little white eyelashes and a droopy mouth like a sad melting shovel. Passers-by stare and smile at her; little children say, “Look at the dalmatian!” She is also impressively flexible and can curl up into a tiny, spotted ball.
Sophie Makes Herself at Home.
Sometimes she’ll lie on the floor with her enormous, curtain-like jowls drooped over her front paws, like a muffin top. Then I say, “Whatcha doing, Sophie? Are you making muffins?”
Once Charlie realized she was here to stay, he began warming up to her. Now they frolic and play together, and sometimes he licks her face when he thinks no one is looking.
They're Like Bookends!
Anyway, those are the dogs. Having 2 dogs is definitely twice as much work as having just one. But I’m so glad we found Sophie. She feels like part of the family.
Akie, Howard and I discussed calling after a first date in this week’s Perpetual Post.
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: Lately it seems as though a lot of women I love and respect have been prefacing statements with, “I’m not a feminist, but—“. This tends to make me mad, because the statements they’ve prefacing are usually about how women deserve to be treated equally, which, to me, is what feminism is essentially about. And yet they don’t want to be labeled as feminists, which I guess I understand, except I don’t. I am unequivocally a feminist, and I see nothing wrong with telling anyone who asks as much, because I don’t think there is any reason to not want to be seen as a feminist.
But I digress. There are still certain scenarios when my entire feminist perspective gets thrown out the window, where it is charged more at the dry cleaners and forced to do equal work for less pay. One example of such a scenario is when a friend of mine asks for advice after a first date. Generally, she’ll say something like, “We had a great time! He hasn’t called yet though. Should I call him?” To my astonishment and shame, I always find myself saying, “Hmm… better not.”
Why is this? At this point men and women take turns staying home with the kids, we achieve the same levels of education, we are both allowed to be doctors and nurses and flight attendants. Equality between the sexes is not there yet, but things are moving closer. And yet, when it comes to courtship, to a certain extent we may as well be back in the turn of the century, when a woman who wanted to snare a man had best not let him know of her interest until he couldn’t stand her avoiding him anymore and proposed marriage.
Much of it is the chase; I know it is. We still think that men want to chase us, and I guess a lot of them do, or think they do. But the problem is that technology has rendered the chase mostly obsolete. At this point it often consists of pressing the ‘Send’ button on a cell phone, or typing out a text message, or an email, or submitting an online friend request …basically, it’s almost harder NOT to be constantly in touch with other people. The chase is pretty sad these days. So if the chase has been lost, why are the other old customs still in place, like the one that says A Women Can Never Call a Man After a First Date, He Must Call Her (And if He Doesn’t, Oh Well, She’s Clearly Better Off)?
I think that part of this is due to tradition that is difficult to move past, and a lot of it is fear. A first date is such a tricky situation to begin with; you both bumble around, sweating, trying to be suave and to impress each other. At the end of the night, you are each pretty sure that the other had a good time, but at the same time you wouldn’t be surprised if they hate your guts. So it’s easiest for both parties to simply fall into the roles that are expected of them. It means neither has to rock the boat, which, if the date was a good one and each party is hoping for a second date, is comforting and provides some structure. Why not follow the rules, if that’s usually the way these things work? After all, if you don’t this time, what if you screw everything up? For a less stellar date, there might be more room for experimentation—a woman might feel more comfortable just picking up the phone to say hey if the date was just so-so—but in that case, why would she even bother?
The problem with tradition is, as 99.99% of us can attest from personal experience, waiting around for someone to call puts you in a foul mood. It is in fact Hell. So why does this have to be the woman’s job? Why does the man get the power to decide whether a second date is in the cards or not?
I don’t have an answer to this. And, as I’ve stated before, although I consider myself to be a feminist, when I first met my fiancé, I NEVER EVER called him. Even months after we’d been dating fairly seriously, I always waited for him to call me. So don’t look to me for answers, because I’m clearly screwed up. Still, let’s at least start to think about these gender roles and expectations, because if we don’t, centuries from now our great-great-great granddaughters will be sitting there after a good first date, waiting impatiently by the hologram machine. Let’s help them avoid that, shall we?
Akie and I discussed weddings over at the Perpetual Post. Find his side Here!
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I know it’s just the polite, making-conversation thing that people say to you when they learn that you got engaged, but I’m a little tired of having people ask if I’ve set a date for my wedding or not.
Have I set a date? No. Am I excited to lawfully wed my sweetie so that he can be on my insurance plan and we can visit each other in the hospital and get tax breaks and we will both have cool wedding bands and can continue to plan our lives together?
Hell yes. Am I excited about my wedding? Hell no.
I’m just not a ‘wedding’ kind of girl. I don’t watch any of the eight thousand television shows about weddings and bridezillas. I don’t read bridal magazines. I have never imagined what my perfect wedding day might be like. I just really don’t give a flying boutonniere.
I like going to other people’s weddings because I like parties and open bars and cake and dressing up, and it’s nice to see my friends pledge their eternal love to each other and then to drink a lot and do the Macarena. But I also tend to find weddings boring and formulaic and overblown and I hate wearing pantyhose and making idle chitchat with people I barely know.
But now I have reached the point in my life where I am ready to get married and move on to the next stage of life as a married person, which is great! The only thing stopping me is the damn wedding. It’s like marriage is on the other side of an iron gate covered in taffeta and frills and icing and guarded by a photographer and a caterer and an overpriced dress and flanked by 300 of my closest friends and loved ones, and it costs ten grand to pass through.
Nooooooooooooooo!
A few weeks into our engagement I got the brilliant idea that if I dropped enough hints, maybe my closest friends would band together and throw me a Surprise Wedding. How great would that be? One day I’d come home and – Surprise! There’s Brian, in a tux! And all our family & friends! And a minister! And flowers, and snacks, and booze, and music, and everyone looks nice. Surprise! It’s your wedding! And you didn’t have to plan anything! My friends, who are wonderful at planning surprise parties, are somehow not enthused at this idea. I’m pretty sure that I’ve dropped the heaviest hints possible, (“Man, I hate the idea of wedding planning. I wish SOMEONE would just throw me a surprise wedding. Oh well.”) but to no avail.
So I could go the Vegas Route. I could go the City Hall Route. I could go the Backyard Barbecue Route. None of those routes really appeal to me either though. It’s a special occasion and a special day, and I’d like it to be special. Just not “hundreds of dollars on table place settings that will be thrown away at the end of the night” special. Not “you can’t invite Great-Uncle Phil or Great-Aunt Agatha will disown our side of the family and by the way did you invite the guy at Dunkin-Donuts who always gets your coffee right?” special.
There has to be a middle ground. Something that’s not chintzy OR over elaborate. Something that’s a nod to tradition and yet still feels representative of our relationship.
Or I guess we could always have a Zombie-Themed Wedding like Brian wants, and call it a day.
So my awesome little sis gave me this book for Christmas:
Empire of Illusion, by Chris Hedges
It was great. It gave me a lot to think about; addressed some thoughts and concerns I had already been ruminating on in a much more articulate and explicit way.
So once I finished, I went through the notes and bibliography in the back of the book and bought every book that I had recalled the author referencing in an interesting way; about 7 more books.
I read them in pretty random order, starting with this one:
It’s hard to describe this book, but I can’t recommend it high enough even though reading it was an almost excoriating experience. It was the kind of book that while reading it every once in awhile I had to put it down and sit there staring into space while I shied away from and eventually absorbed what I had just read. I’ve never read a book like that before. It has fundamentally changed the way I see the world.
So for my next book I went a little lighter, or so I thought.
Amusing Ourselves to Death: Public Discourse in the Age of Show Business, by Neil Postman
This book was also really good, although since it was written in the 80s and dealt mainly with television and its effect on American culture, it was a little frustrating, because I wanted the author to apply that information to the internet. Boorstin’s book was written in the 60s, but somehow it reached ahead of itself and still felt fairly current, or at least still very relevant. Still, Postman made a lot of good points and it was good to ground myself in the theories that came about with the advent and rising popularity of television. Postman founded a graduate program at NYU in Media, Culture and Communications which I would go to if I had all the money.
Next I went back to serious with:
Where Have All The Intellectuals Gone, by Frank Furedi
This book was extremely dense and required more concentration than any books I have read recently (aside from, perhaps, The Image). It reminded me of being back in college again. It really got going after the first few chapters and introduced a lot of really fascinating ideas about the modern American and European culture ‘of inclusion’ and the fact that nobody walks around saying “I’m an intellectual” anymore because they’d be ashamed to do that in the current anti-elite culture. A little off-topic with regard to everything else I had been reading that was more about media theory and criticism, but a great read nonetheless.
I thought I would treat myself with a slightly less dense book after that, so I’ve just started:
Life: The Movie: How Entertainment Conquered Reality, by Neal Gabler
I’m only a few pages in and I’m already amazed at how often he has referenced Boorstin’s The Image, so I’m really glad I read that one early on. I’m also realizing that I need to read some Marshall McLuhan. Like, but how. But I’ve still got another 4 books to go through before that, and I’ve also found a lot of really great-sounding books from this recent New York Times article. I mean, Jaron Lanier’s ‘You Are Not a Gadget’? How awesome does that look?
Lots to read! Lots to read!
The Internet was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize, so of course we discussed this at The Perpetual Post and on our weekly radio podcast. Check them out!
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I was more than a little skeptical upon learning of the Internet’s nomination for a Nobel Peace Prize. Really? The Internet? Was it nominated by the kind of person who thinks that a little gnome turns off the light in the refrigerator when you close the door? Did its nominators realize that the internet lacks not only a publicist and the ability to rent a limousine to take to the ceremony, but also a tuxedo size?
I also have to wonder exactly what new realm we are entering by nominating an inanimate object for such a prize. Where do we go from here? Should we nominate the Kindle for a prize in Literature? It’s certainly promoted the availability of books and other printed material. Can Diet Dr. Pepper be nominated for the chemistry prize? After all, it does taste just like regular Dr. Pepper. Now that non-sentient beings (besides Susan Lucci) can be expected to compete for prestigious awards, will that detract from the meaningfulness of the award for human participants? Or should they consider themselves lucky to share a nomination with something as popular as The Internet?
One important aspect to consider is intent. An inanimate object, no matter how useful it is, does not commit those useful acts intentionally. It is a tool, a resource created by actual beings to serve a specific purpose. You can argue that so was Mother Theresa, but I wouldn’t buy it. The Internet, lacking any kind of self-awareness or personality, is different from a scientist or a human rights activist, in that it did not promote peace on purpose. And this lack of intent, I believe, means that it cannot be held responsible for any actions it has performed, nor should it be rewarded for them. You may as well nominate the Fork for its work in helping to end world hunger. Certainly it may have played a role. But it was as a tool, designed and implemented by many others, who should themselves be thanked if anyone is.
Akie, Howard and I discussed baby names over at this week’s Perpetual Post.
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I figured it might be useful during this discussion to have a look at some of the most popular Baby Names of 2009. It is fascinating to see the naming trends being created and followed by new parents.
Popular Baby Names of 2009:
Tyler
A minimalist, utilitarian name for either a boy or a girl, this modern moniker calls to mind the sexy bad boy Tyler Durden from the seminal film masterpiece ‘Fight Club’. Spelling variations include Tiler, Tielr, Ytileur & Tielyr.
: )
Edgier parents are beginning to embrace the idea of naming their children using emoticons. This kind of baby name is not for the faint of heart, but it is actually less of a burden than it might seem; since people tend to communicate more frequently by texting, emailing and otherwise typing to each other than by actually speaking to each other, introducing yourself by this name is fairly easy. It is also quite easy to spell. Variations on this name include : D and :> .
Sexy
Why wait until your little girl is all grown up for her to realize that she is beautiful and hot? Children need to learn how to have self-esteem, with a name like Sexy, their confidence in themselves is built right in! Parents also enjoy the fact that their child’s name will already be embroidered in rhinestones on numerous items of clothing and track suits. Alternate spellings include Sexxy, Sexi, Sexxxy and Sessi.
Connecticut
This name brings to mind a very specific time and place, but mostly a place. It’s experienced a renaissance in the last few months, ever since the state unveiled a brand new motto: “Connecticut: Name Your Baby after it and Win a $50 Target Gift Card”. Nicknames include Connie and CT.
Sassafrass
This name’s popularity can be traced back to a Facebook Group called “Wouldn’t it be Awesome to Name Your Baby Sassafrass?” which was begun in late 2008. A related Facebook group is expected to form in around 2020 entitled “Sassafrasses United in the Fight to be Legally Emancipated from Their Parents”.
Snuggie
The origins of this name are mysterious, but it is believed to be of Dutch ancestry from the root word ‘snoogi’ which means “to keep the hands free”.
I Heard Tell 