Akie, Howard and I discussed baby names over at this week’s Perpetual Post.
MOLLY SCHOEMANN: I figured it might be useful during this discussion to have a look at some of the most popular Baby Names of 2009. It is fascinating to see the naming trends being created and followed by new parents.
Popular Baby Names of 2009:
Tyler
A minimalist, utilitarian name for either a boy or a girl, this modern moniker calls to mind the sexy bad boy Tyler Durden from the seminal film masterpiece ‘Fight Club’. Spelling variations include Tiler, Tielr, Ytileur & Tielyr.
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Edgier parents are beginning to embrace the idea of naming their children using emoticons. This kind of baby name is not for the faint of heart, but it is actually less of a burden than it might seem; since people tend to communicate more frequently by texting, emailing and otherwise typing to each other than by actually speaking to each other, introducing yourself by this name is fairly easy. It is also quite easy to spell. Variations on this name include : D and :> .
Sexy
Why wait until your little girl is all grown up for her to realize that she is beautiful and hot? Children need to learn how to have self-esteem, with a name like Sexy, their confidence in themselves is built right in! Parents also enjoy the fact that their child’s name will already be embroidered in rhinestones on numerous items of clothing and track suits. Alternate spellings include Sexxy, Sexi, Sexxxy and Sessi.
Connecticut
This name brings to mind a very specific time and place, but mostly a place. It’s experienced a renaissance in the last few months, ever since the state unveiled a brand new motto: “Connecticut: Name Your Baby after it and Win a $50 Target Gift Card”. Nicknames include Connie and CT.
Sassafrass
This name’s popularity can be traced back to a Facebook Group called “Wouldn’t it be Awesome to Name Your Baby Sassafrass?” which was begun in late 2008. A related Facebook group is expected to form in around 2020 entitled “Sassafrasses United in the Fight to be Legally Emancipated from Their Parents”.
Snuggie
The origins of this name are mysterious, but it is believed to be of Dutch ancestry from the root word ‘snoogi’ which means “to keep the hands free”.
Jillian and I took on abstinence vs. unwanted babies in this week’s Perpetual Post. Read her take on abstinence here.
MOLLY SCHOEMANN:
Surprise! Accidental pregnancies are the new planned pregnancies! And pregnant is the new successful.
Everybody loves surprises—and what could be more exciting than the surprise of life? Everybody loves life! And everybody LOVES babies. Need proof? Just look around you! Everyone’s got a cute little baby these days. What are you waiting for? A career?!
Nothing helps you find your place in the world quite like a baby. Not sure where you’re going in life? Feeling aimless, worried about the future, and unsure of what you really have to offer anyone? Drift around long enough in dead-end social circles and pursue enough unfulfilling, destructive relationships, and chances are, sooner or later you will either knock someone up, or get knocked up yourself—and, voila! Suddenly, you’re a parent! Instant purpose! Nobody can doubt that you’re important once you’ve had a baby. After all, babies are the future.
And really, what could be more of a blessing than a surprising new baby? Babies bring joy and sunshine into the lives of everyone around them. A baby can be a lot of work, but it can also bring families together, to say things like, “Who is going to take care of this baby?”, and “I guess you better drop out of school.” And who likes school anyway? Nobody cool! That’s right—have a baby, and you can quit school and sleep late every day!
Have trouble making friends or connecting with others? Parents don’t understand you? You better believe your new baby will!
Insecure about your relationship? Concerned that your boyfriend or girlfriend might be thinking of leaving you? Throw a baby in the mix, and you’ve got a recipe for lasting love. Nothing brings two dissimilar people closer or strengthens a tenuous relationship like a sudden influx of serious financial and emotional responsibilities. If your boy or girlfriend comes from a religious background, so much the better! To their families, an unexpected baby is God’s way of saying, “Get married right away.”
Think about it. Babies go with every outfit. And you can dress them up to look like a miniature version of yourself, just like the miniature version of you that they are sure to become when they grow up! Pierce baby’s ears, style baby’s hair, spend the money you earn at your part-time job to dress baby in the latest wee fashions. Clubs won’t let you in without a fake ID? Just show them your baby, and they’ll assume you must be old enough to drink! After all, you have a baby, don’t you?
You must have done something right, to end up with a baby.
I Heard Tell 