Humor and Satire– Shmatire!

Tag Archives: sleep

The last few nights I have woken up in the middle of the night to a horribly itchy, swollen throat.  I mean, SO ITCHY.  It starts from the back of my palate and goes down to my tonsils..  In order to scratch it I tend to make a horribly raspy, guttural noise that sounds like a zombie choking on a finger bone.  I do this regularly.  In the middle of the night.  Right next to Brian.  Who happens to be (or happened to be) sleeping at the time.  This is not really fair to him.


I am trying to figure out what tends to cause (and exacerbate) this condition.  I think it might be the dog, but there’s no way to really change that variable, since it would be the equivalent of getting rid of your kid.  I could vacuum more often, but who wants to do that?  I’ve tried changing the sheets more often (since the dog is on them all day while we are at work, as his form of protest), but it doesn’t seem to help.  Last night we had the air purifier on, and my throat was itchier than ever from about 3:50am til around 4:30.


I got up and gargled warm salt water, and it seemed to get worse.  I drank cold water, and that seemed to help a tiny bit.  When I woke up this morning though, I felt pretty much fine.


Night Throat-Itch, whyyyyyyy?

Up at 6am

At work by 7:15

Who did I piss off?


Twelve hour workdays

I’m getting too old for this

Also too lazy


Broccoli and rum

Don’t tell me that they don’t make

A balanced dinner


Damn it workplaces

Stop giving me free candy

My butt is a shelf


Although I complain

Life is pretty good right now

Just need to add sleep

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